Friday, August 26, 2011

celibacy and the bitter barrier

Some people should not be celibate for too long. Yea you heard me! Has anyone else realized that some people really just shouldn't be celibate too long?

Now hear my words: Some people and too long. I don't mean everybody all the time, so simmer down and don't get ya self righteous panties in a bunch before you hear what I'm saying.

Many times we choose celibacy for completely noble and honorable purposes. Whether because of the desire to cleanse and purge our heads and hearts of past baggage, to open our souls for present experiences, to prepares our spirits for future encounters and unions in hopes of recognizing the good, the bad, and the ugly the next time around, or all of the above. This is a brilliant endeavor that we all should possibly engage in periodically.

However, in an effort to purify and nourish head, heart, soul and spirit we neglect the needs of the body. We can feed if food, exercise it, and allow it to meditate; for many people, blessedly, these are more than enough to sustain them through a period of brief or extended celibacy with grace and even enlightenment. But for some, and I said some, celibacy is different. Veeeery different.

First, it ain't a choice. Or at least is doesn't start as a choice. It starts as a break up or a lonely couple of weekends, then stretches into a drought, then mutates rather angrily but with dogged acceptance into a conscious decision of "well, as long as I'm not getting any, I might as well make the best of the experience." So, there's already a certain bitterness connected to the experience in the first place.

Second, after an extended period of sexual deprivation the whole purpose behind the celibacy gets twisted. The wonder and beauty of the inner spiritual enlightenment all of a sudden makes them a tad bit too enlightened for their own damn good. All of a sudden, lack of sex has made them a greater being, sainted, surely more wise than those hopeless fools wasting brain cells on orgasms and certifiably more knowledgeable than those hapless idiots that they actually wish to have sex with!!

Some, not all, but some people who remain celibate for too long develop what I call the Bitter Barrier. It's the force field of general nastiness and pheromone and cock-blocking hostility that develops around some of them after they have passed the point of enlightenment, leaped over a 'higher level', and now their siditty asses are just perched up on a pedestal of their own monastic creation. Now they do not just feel better, they are better; better than you or me, at least that's what their horny little heads tell them. Exerting the deliberate strength to deny the lust of their loins makes them superior humans and they should be worshipped and groped, uh I mean coveted.

Which makes it that much harder for them to understand why those they wish to one day have sex with by showing them that they are stronger, smarter and better than them, DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEIR NEUROTIC ASSES! "

"Alas, damn this celibacy and the exalted, ultimate being it has created in me and the fact that others simply cannot clench up, sinch up and understand me!!!"

Hhhmmm..... The Bitter Barrier in full effect. You are now the crazy friend when out with the crew and you don't even know it. People aren't sensing confidence, sensuality, clarity, intelligence, or any of the things that you intended to glean from this period of celibacy.

People come around you now and five minutes later they walk away saying, "Mmph, that mothafuckas craaaazy! They need to get some ass like quick fast in a hurry!"

And I'm not a hypocrite; I am one of those people who has learned that it is not too smart for me to go too long without a proper physical release. Granted, it is much more preferable, and the likelihood of mass homicide is dramatically decreased, when something other than my own imagination and battery operated devices are involved, but I do have a damn good imagination and I'm not scared to shop for bigger, better and more creative toys should the need for chosen celibacy arise again.

Soooo, if anyone out there might be thinking of your recent behavior and realized you might have developed a Bitter Barrier, I recommend either visiting your local XXX shop and seeing if anything there tickles your fancy..... literally, or picking up some literature on Tantra and self pleasuring, or learning about the benefits of 'friends with benefits'. Do something! Because I can assure you that some friend or prospective date out there is, while to your face commending your noble, leg-locked choice, they are secretly begging you to just bus' a nut and shut the fuck up already!!

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